


birthday

by breadandramen



Category: H.O.T. (Band), jtL (Band)
Genre: I APOLOGIZE, I don't know how to write those scenes well, M/M, Sad Ending, brief intimate moment, tonhyuk - Freeform, wonta
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 08:14:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,310
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27720059
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/breadandramen/pseuds/breadandramen
Summary: It's Jaewon's birthday and Tony is drunk..(also posted on wattpad)
Relationships: An Seungho | Tony/Jang Woohyuk, An Seungho | Tony/Lee Jaewon, Kangta/Lee Jaewon
Comments: 2
Kudos: 3





	1. ?

"Punch me." 

If Jaewon could have a dollar for every time Tony asked him that while drunk he'd probably be on his way to buy himself his own car. Jaewon had never followed through with his request before, but today was different. 

It was Jaewon's birthday and technically he was allowed to do whatever the fuck he wanted. Legally of course. Besides he's always wondered what it was like to punch someone in the face. 

"Okay." He shrugged. 

There was a small part of him begging him to not do it because Tony was drunk, but honestly, Tony had it coming. 

Jaewon brought his fist down Tony's cheek and watched him fly backwards. 

His fist stung for a while but he didn't feel bad like he thought he would. It felt nice. And made him think about how he once wanted to be a boxer. 

He watched Tony stand up and fix his clothes, "Is that all you got?" He asked with a dark bruise already forming on his cheek. 

Jaewon thought that maybe Tony was going to try to punch him back but he just gave him a drunk smile and walked away. 

"Damn you got him good." 

"It wasn't that hard." He said, accepting the cup of soda Kangta was offering him.

"Maybe I should go see if he's okay." Kangta said. 

"Nah," Jaewon took a sip and handed him back the cup, "I'll go. Don't need him asking you to punch him too." 

"Ppft, he already did." 

"Oh yeah?" 

"I just pushed him back into the couch, I didn't want to hurt him." 

Jaewon giggled, "He deserved my punch, he's been asking for it for so long. I figured I'd finally give him what he wanted." 

"If you're gonna check on him be quick about it, please, Woohyuk and Heejun have been dying to get their hands on your cake." 

Jaewon turned his head to find them lingering by the cake with a hungry expression. 

"I'll try to be fast" Jaewon leaned down and kissed Kangta's cheek, "Protect my cake for me, okay?"

Kangta grabbed the broom and headed towards the hungry duo.

Jaewon went down the hallway in search of their drunk member. 

"Tony?"

He found him face down halfway into Jaewons bedroom.

Jaewon hurried and turned him on his back, "Tony?!"

_Maybe I shouldn't have punched him._

"owWW!" Tony screeched.

"What?!" Jaewon freaked.

"I was resting my face on your carpet you dick and you moved me!" 

"I'm sorry." He laughed.

"Don't laugh." Tony pouted. 

"You just have a big bruise on your face how am I not supposed to laugh."

"Ugh, whatever, help me up I want to sleep." 

"Sorry, I think I hit you too hard so you can't sleep yet." He placed his hands under Tony's armpits and dragged him into his bathroom. 

"Aaaggghhh" Tony cried, "the carpet is burning me."

Jaewon just laughed and lugged him onto the counter, "Stay." He ordered after seeing Tony's body sway. 

He came back with some cream and some bandages. 

Tony stayed silent while Jaewon gently applied the cream onto his cheek. 

Jaewon softly apologized while he placed the bandage. 

"I deserve it anyways."

"Yeah, but I'm still sorry."

They stayed like that for a while, listening to the music playing in the background and the sounds of Kangta whacking Heejun and Woohyuk. 

Jaewon brushed Tony's hair away from his eyes and gently shook him when he saw Tony was falling asleep. 

"Don't fall asleep." He whispered. 

"I'm not." 

They opted to staring at each other. 

Maybe it was because the bathroom was dark, but just being here with Tony set him in a mood he couldn't quite yet put a finger to.

Tony blinked sleepily and lowered his gaze to Jaewon's mouth and leaned in.

Jaewon froze, feeling the way Tony sloppily clung to his lips. 

When Tony pulled away Jaewon could finally breathe again.

"What are you doing?" 

Tony shrugged again. "I don't know." And hung his head. "I'm sorry."

Jaewon should have pushed him away. He should've walked out of that bathroom and joined the rest of the members. He should've gotten Woohyuk to look after him instead. But he'd be lying if he said the kiss didn't spark anything in him. 

He leaned down and cupped Tony's chin to make him look at him. 

The way the bruise was spreading out of the bandage and the way Tony's eyes were filling up with tears awoke something in him. 

He leaned closer and softly kissed Tony, earning a small gasp from him.

"Jae—"

He silenced him with another kiss. He could feel the other hesitating but gave in when Jaewon kissed him harder. 

_It's my birthday. I can do whatever I want._

Jaewon didn't know how they ended up in his bed but he didn't care. All that mattered was that he was in the middle of kissing and undressing Tony. He smiled when he felt Tony's hands reaching out for him, trying to remove his shirt. 

"If we're gonna do this, do it quick." Tony whispered. 

"Okay." 

And he pulled Tony's pants off and slid his hand down his underwear and gently wrapped his hand around his member. 

"You've been wanting this haven't you?" Jaewon teased, "Woohyuk hasn't been given you any or what?"

"Shut up." He weakly snapped. 

"Well he's missing out." He stroked him slowly, enjoying the many different expressions on Tony's face. The room was dark but he could still see the flush of red on his face due to the alcohol and the pleasure he was feeling.

"Go faster please." Tony begged.

"Can't you be patient?" He asked.

He let out a high pitched moan and covered his mouth with his hand. 

"F-faster please." He said again. 

Jaewon slowed down even more and watched in amusement when Tony's face became desperate.

"Jaewon please!" He cried. 

"I'm sorry! Don't cry." He said, "Just enjoy it."

Tony let out a wet laugh, "I mean I am, I really am, but you have a cake to cut don't you? Everyone is waiting, man."

He was right. It's been almost 20 minutes since he left Kangta defending his cake and he knew that Heejun and Woohyuk wouldn't be able to wait any longer. 

"Okay." 

Jaewon pulled Tony's underwear off and unzipped his pants. 

Tony flinched at the sound and lifted himself up a bit.

He took one look at him and plopped back down, "Holy shit." 

"What?" Jaewon blushed. 

"You're fucking huge, dude." 

He blushed even harder at that, "Thanks." 

Jaewon stroked himself for a few seconds before pressing it against Tony. He had to hurry up before Kangta noticed something wasn't right.

"Do it." Tony said.

"Shouldn't I prepare you?" Jaewon asked a bit worried. 

Tony shook his head, "It's okay, I can take it."

"Okay." 

He slowly pushed inside and had to grip Tony's legs hard when he felt how tight he was.

Jaewon was halfway in, but stopped when he noticed Tony's pained expression.

He placed a hand on his waist and waited.

"Hurry up." 

Jaewon gulped and shakily thrust all the way inside at Tony's insistence.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled when Tony let out a small cry of pain. 

"It's okay, just— hold on. I just need a sec." 

Jaewon gently stroked Tony's stomach, patiently waiting for Tony to get adjusted to him. 

He watched him with wide eyes as he breathed in and out, not missing the single tear that slid out his eye and down the side of his cheek. 

"Okay, okay." 

"Ready?" Jaewon asked, grabbing the underside of Tony's legs. 

"Yeah."

Jaewon pulled out and pushed in rhythmically, slowly at first before thrusting as quickly as possible. 

Tony could no longer hide his moans and for once Jaewon was happy that Heejun decided to blast music on full volume. 

He leaned down and let Tony wrap his arms around him tightly. In this position, Jaewon could hear Tony better. 

Jaewon quicken his pace when he realized the song currently playing had around a minute left. He didn't bother being careful this time and thrust erratically. 

Something pooled in his stomach and he knew he was close. 

He kissed Tony's neck roughly and suddenly Tony froze, digging his nails into Jaewon's back, the wetness on Jaewon's stomach told him that he had come. 

He kept on thrusting harder in order to reach his own high. 

The pool became tighter and exploded into the smaller man. 

Jaewon laid on top of Tony for a while, breathing hard. Tony's grip on him became lighter and soon his arms fell back on the bed. 

He sat up when reality hit him and pulled out of Tony.

"Sorry, I came inside of you." He said, touching the liquid that was slowly sliding out of Tony. 

Tony reached down and grabbed his hand to stop him, "It's okay." 

Jaewon pulled his hand away and watched in amusement as Tony tried to sit up. 

"Just lay down." He said.

"We should head back." 

Jaewon pushed him, "Just stay, okay?" 

"Fine." Tony smiled. 

"Did I hurt you?" Jaewon quickly said, "I'm sorry—"

"Stop apologizing, it's okay." Tony said.

Then he giggled.

"What?" Jaewon asked.

"I should ask you to punch me more often." 

Jaewon snorted, "Believe me Tony, you already do." 

He kissed him softly before fixing himself up. He made sure he looked like nothing happened. 

"I'll tell them you were being a crazy drunk and that's why I was stuck here for a while." He joked while pulled the covers up to Tony's shoulders. 

"Yeah, whatever, just save me some cake." 

"Of course."


	2. ??

Kangta was getting tired of whacking Heejun and Woohyuk. 

_What is taking him so long?_

"Pleasssseeeee Kangta I just want a taste!" 

Kangta smacked Woohyuk with the brooms bristles and decided to get Jaewon for himself. 

"I swear to god, Lee Jaewon." 

The song that was blasting throughout the apartment was coming to its end as he approached Jaewon's room. He was about to open the door when something stopped him. 

There were strange noises coming out of that room.

He leaned in a bit.

"Sorry, I came inside of you." He heard Jaewon say.

Kangta frowned and placed a hand on Jaewon's door, not opening it but leaning even closer to hear what was going on.

"It's okay." That was Tony. 

"Just lay down." 

"We should head back." 

"Just stay, okay?" 

"Fine."

"Did I hurt you?" Jaewon quickly said, "I'm sorry—"

"Stop apolog—"

Kangta flinched when it suddenly hit him what just happened in that room and felt bile rise in his throat. His hands tightened around the broom intending to go in there and beat the shit out of the two, but deciding against it. 

He walked out of the hallway and back into the kitchen trying to calm his heart down. He blinked his tears away. 

"Can we eat it nOw?" Woohyuk asked. 

Kangta opened his mouth to answer but Jaewon came into the kitchen looking like nothing had happened. His expression was exactly the same as when he left to find Tony. 

"What took you so long?" Heejun pouted. 

"Um Tony was being crazy, you know how he is when he's drunk." 

Kangta almost believed him.

Woohyuk sat up, sporting a huge lump on his forehead, "Is he okay?"

There was no change in his face at that question either. 

"Yeah, he's just resting in my bed, I wouldn't bother him for a while." 

Woohyuk shrugged, "Okay cool, more cake for me!" 

Heejun kicked him, "I'm the oldest therefore I get more cake!"

"You—"

"Guys it's my birthday." Jaewon said. 

Kangta forced a smile on his face, "Yeah it's your birthday." 

Only then did Jaewon frown. 

Kangta passed him a knife, the point facing Jaewon's stomach. 

"Ppfft, what's up with you, did Heejun and Woohyuk work you up or something?" Jaewon mumbled, grabbing the knife by the blade. 

"Something like that." 

Woohyuk scrambled to light the candles, dodging the pillow Heejun threw at him. 

They sing happy birthday loudly. Well it was just Heejun and Woohyuk singing it, Kangta was only mouthing it. He was too busy thinking. 

_Jaewon is cheating on me._

_He's cheating on me with Tony. While I was here._

_Tony is cheating on Woohyuk. With Jaewon._

Woohyuk screeching made him jump.

"The fuck?" 

"Finally! Cut it now I'm hungry!" 

Jaewon cut the cake into 5 chunks, "I don't get how you're still hungry after inhaling my fridge." 

"That wasn't me." Woohyuk cronched on the his piece, "That was Tony." 

Kangta's eyes welled up with tears at that name and accepted his piece of cake quietly. 

Jaewon sat down and ate his chunk quietly. 

"So how's Tony?" Kangta tried. He sat down next to him but there was a big space between them.

"He's fine, I bandaged him up. He was really drunk." 

"Huh." 

Jaewon set his fork down, "Are you okay?" 

_Why is he looking at me like that after what he did? Doesn't he realize what he did?!_

"I'm fine." 

Jaewon poked his cheek, receiving a small smile from Kangta. 

"Tell me." 

Kangta moved away from Jaewon's finger and stabbed his cake, "Later." 

Jaewon huffed and turned to Heejun and asked him about his week. 

Kangta rolled his eyes and settled his eyes on Woohyuk who was just destroying his cake. He was oblivious to what Kangta knew. To what his "innocent" Tony had just done with his boyfriend. 

Were they even boyfriend's still?

He glanced towards the hallway and thought about how Tony was in Jaewon's room, resting in his bed. Naked.

He moved towards the hallway, intending to go in that room and talk to him but Tony walked out in that very second, looking like he had just woken up from a power nap. He was fully dressed with his jacket zipped all the way up. 

"Oh hey." Tony patted Kangta's shoulder and made a beeline towards Woohyuk. 

Kangta could tell he wasn't as drunk anymore, which means he was fully aware of what happened. 

Tony isn't a good liar like Jaewon. Kangta could tell that he was nervous and probably scared. The way he avoided Jaewon's gaze said a lot. 

He scoffed when Tony leaned his head on Woohyuks shoulder who was no longer destroying his cake. His heart hurt when he saw Woohyuks expression soften. 

He watched him caress that bandaged up cheek. He watched him feed Tony and ask him if he was feeling okay. It made Kangta sick how Tony could waltz in here and pretend like everything was okay and only he seemed to notice it. 

Kangta stood up and decided to join them almost enjoying the way Tony jumped at his presence. 

"Does it hurt?" He asked bluntly. 

He ignored the way Woohyuk gave him a confused glare.

Tony nodded, looking everywhere but at Kangta's eyes. 

_Come on, try to lie to me too._

"Jaewon said you deserved it." 

"I know."

"So do I." 

Tony opened his mouth to speak but Woohyuk interrupted, "Who crawled up your ass and died? Go bother someone else with your shit mood." 

Kangta stood up and mumbled a "whatever" and left, but not before glancing down Tony's jacket and seeing a dark bruise on his neck. 

He snorted, _of course._

So he went to the living room and sat on the couch. He opened a bottle of beer and turned the TV on. He didn't pay attention to the show, he just kept drinking and trying his hardest not to burst into tears and yell at Jaewon. 

He stayed like that until Heejun, Woohyuk and Tony declared they were going home. 

Kangta stood up and pulled his phone out and quickly sent a text to his manager to come pick him up in half an hour. He couldn't drive home in this condition. Plus it gave him enough time to talk to Jaewon. 

He stood by the hallway leading towards Jaewon's room and gave a small wave to the three eldest and flashed Tony a fake smile. 

Tony only frowned and held his cheek softly before following Woohyuk out the door. 

Jaewon closed it and began cleaning the kitchen up, once again acting like nothing is wrong. 

He narrowed his eyes and stormed into Jaewon's room. A frustrated noise escaped his lips when he saw that the bed was made. He opened Jaewon's closet and pulled out the hamper, punching the floor at the sight of his old sheets messily smooshed into the hamper. 

He walked out the room and headed straight towards Jaewon with light but quick steps. 

"Hey." 

Jaewon was washing the dishes but gave him a small glance, "Hey?" 

Kangta hated how innocent his expression was. Like he was oblivious to everything in the world. 

_It's fake._

"So what did you and Tony do for almost 40 minutes?"

"I put cream on his cheek and tried to keep him awake. I think I punched him too hard." Jaewon said, "He was acting delirious." 

"Should've taken him to the hospital then." 

Jaewon sighed. He shut the water off, tugged the rubber gloves off his hand and faced Kangta.

"What's wrong with you?"

And Kangta finally exploded.

"Why are you lying to me?!" 

Jaewon froze. 

"What?"

"About Tony." 

Jaewons eyes grew big. 

"I heard you two." His voice cracked.

"Kangta…" 

"Stop lying to me, please." 

Jaewon didn't tear up. He didn't get angry. He didn't have the reaction Kangta thought he would. He just looked guilty but at the same time he didn't. 

"I slept with Tony." He said. 

Kangta closed his eyes, "I figured that much out." He wiped his tears away. 

"Is that why you were acting like that?" 

"How else am I supposed to react? Huh? 'Oh my boyfriend is sleeping with one of my best friends how perfectly normal! Haha! Let's eat cake!' is that what I was supposed to say?!" He kicked Jaewon's legs but he didn't react to it. 

"Why'd you do it?" 

"I'm sorry." 

Kangta sighed, "Just tell me why."

"What difference does it make?"

"So I can decide whether to forgive you or not." 

He watched Jaewon frown. It was like he was thinking too hard about his answer. 

"Jaewon?" 

He ran a hand through his hair, "It's my birthday."

"Yes I know that, what does that have to do with you fucking Tony?" 

"I always took it as a day where I can do whatever I want. 

Kangta snorted. Not because it was funny, but because that answer was _so Jaewon._

"That's it?" 

Jaewon nodded, finally looking completely guilty.

"Okay." 

"Okay?" 

"I just need time to think." He said, walking back to the living room. 

"I'm sorry." 

Kangta sat down, "My manager will pick me up in a couple of minutes. I'll call you when I get home." 

He couldn't forgive him. Not yet at least. Not without thinking it through. 

He picked his bottle back up and chugged the rest of it, waiting for his manager to call him and tell him he was here.

"Chilhyun…" Jaewon tried.

He sucked in a breath, "Just leave me alone."

Kangta stared straight ahead, listening to Jaewon slowly walk away. 

He began to cry when he heard the door to Jaewon's room close. 


	3. ???

Tony laid wide awake, watching time slowly go by on the clock resting on his nightstand. He hasn't been able to sleep well for the past week. Not when he's the reason why Jaewon and Kangta were so distant from each other. Jaewon hadn't told Tony that Kangta knew about their little session together. He had figured it out all on his own when Kangta had ignored him all day in their next get-together at Heejun's place. Jaewon had given him a sad smile from across the room making Tony feel like the world had crashed upon him. 

Tony wasn't going to lie, he enjoyed his time with Jaewon and he was sure the other did too, but it was wrong of them to do that. Especially when both of their partners were just yards away from them. 

As soon as Jaewon left the room, the reality of what he had just done hit him hard. The guilt that followed after was even worse. 

An arm wrapped itself around his waist and pulled him close to the warm body resting behind him. Tony didn't move for a second. He didn't even breathe. Not until he was sure that Woohyuk was asleep again. 

He hadn't been able to talk to Woohyuk like he used to. He avoided looking at him in the eye and even stopped having sex with him. He couldn't even visit Woohyuk's parents when they asked yesterday. Tony felt _that_ guilty. Woohyuk noticed his behavior, but didn't say anything about it at first. He probably thought that Tony was going through one of those moods— which was very often— but after a few days, he asked him if he was okay. 

Tony wasn't able to give him an answer. Just a shrug. 

Woohyuk then asked if he felt like his depression returned. And Tony just nodded. Because what else could he say? 

_'Hey, Woohyuk, I cheated on you with Jaewon.'_

He couldn't say that! That would break Woohyuks heart and he hated seeing him crying. 

However, he would've given him the truth right away if he knew Woohyuk was going to act like this. 

After Tony's response, Woohyuk would visit him everyday, making sure that Tony had company or that he was eating and sleeping well. He would even sleep over like he's doing right now. Woohyuk said that maybe his presence would scare his nightmares away.

It just made Tony feel worse. Because how could he cheat on someone like Woohyuk? He didn't deserve him. He didn't deserve this treatment. He should've told him from the start. He preferred Woohyuk getting upset and breaking up as opposed to this. 

Tony felt tears well up in his eyes.

_Oh, you're gonna cry again? You're so pathetic. You were the one that let Jaewon fuck you._

Woohyuk shifted when a small sob escaped Tony's lips. 

"Tony?" He said sleepily. 

Tony wiped his eyes and closed his eyes, pretending to sleep. Usually Woohyuk would hug him tighter and allow him to continue pretending. 

It was different this time, though. Woohyuk sat up and gently turned Tony to face him. He opened his eyes and looked at Woohyuk's chest rather than his face. 

He felt his hands run through his hair softly. He turned his head away when Woohyuk tried place a kiss on his forehead. 

"Tony, please." He heard him whisper, "Tell me what's wrong."

He shook his head. "I'm fine. Don't worry about me." 

"Please?" Woohyuk asked. His voice sounded like he was on the verge of tears himself. Tony couldn't have that. 

"I'm fine, I swear." He forced himself to look at Woohyuk's eyes. The room was dark, but the little moonlight that escaped through the curtain was enough to let him see his worried eyes. "It's just one of those nights. I'll be okay in the morning." 

And the fact that Woohyuk believed him made him feel even worse.

Woohyuk slid off the bed, "I'll go make you some tea. It'll help you sleep, okay babe?" 

"Okay." 

He sat up and wiped his eyes. He grabbed his phone from the nightstand and flipped it open. He was surprised to see that there was a message from Kangta. 

_What?_

He opened it. His heart dropped when he read it. 

**< Hey. Can we talk? It's important.>**

He checked the time it was sent. 6:48 PM. That was more than eight hours ago. 

Tony's thumbs quickly pressed on the keys to reply. 

**Sure. What time?**

His phone vibrated before he could close it. It was a reply from Kangta. Tony then wondered if Kangta had been waiting for a response from him this whole time. 

**< 10 am?>**

**Your place?**

**< Yeah>**

**Okay. See you then.**

Kangta didn't respond to him after that. Tony didn't hate him for that, though. If he were Kangta he wouldn't want to reply to him either.

_No doubt he wants to talk about Jaewon and I. That took longer than I expected it to._

"Seungho." 

Tony jumped at his real name being used and shut his phone closed. 

Woohyuk stood stood at the doorway with a tray in his hands. There were two cups in it as well as some toast. 

"You didn't eat dinner today, so I added some bread. You'll feel more comfortable sleeping if you have something else than the tea in your stomach." His boyfriend said when he caught Tony's curious look.

_Why are you so good to me?_

Woohyuk placed it on a small table Tony had in his room and dragged it to Tony's side of the bed. He then turned the light on and returned to him. He picked one of the cups up and sat down. 

"Here, it's hot so sip it slowly." He blew on it gently before raising it to Tony's lips.

Tony ignored what he said and drank it, allowing the tea to burn its way down his throat. He took the cup from Woohyuks hands and rested it on his lap. He felt his legs and hands warm up instantly. 

"Thank you. It's really good." He whispered. 

It really was. Woohyuk had made him tea so many times that he was practically a tea god.

Woohyuk took a few sips from his own cup before setting it down and grabbing the toast. 

"Have some. I toasted it myself." He said with a small goofy smile. 

_Why do you love me so much?_

Tony took a bite. There really wasn't anything special about this toast. It didn't even have jam on it. It was just bread. But Woohyuk made it, so he was going to enjoy it. 

"Good huh?" Woohyuk took a bite on the same spot Tony did. 

He nodded and looked away, hating how that made him blush. 

Woohyuk then dipped the bread into the tea, "Here, it'll taste even better with the tea." 

Tony took it from him and ate it. It really tasted better. 

They ate in silence, with Woohyuk occasionally humming softly to pass time. 

"I love you, Tony." Woohyuk said after a while, "Please don't forget that when you're feeling like this." 

He must've noticed Tony's eyes tearing up again because he took Tony's cup, set it on the table and then held his hands gently in his own. 

"I love you." He repeated, "I'll always be here. I'll always be here to save you from your nightmares." 

"You're so cheesy." Tony said.

"You love me for it." 

Woohyuk kissed him softly and rested his forehead on his. 

_Oh, Woohyuk. If only you knew._

.

.

.

"Do you want something to drink?"

Tony shook his head, "I'm not thirsty." 

Kangta closed the fridge, "Oh." 

This was unbearably awkward and suffocating. Tony arrived at Kangta's almost half an hour ago and this was the most they've said to each other. 

"What did you want to talk about?" He asked, "I have a schedule today. I don't want to be late." 

That wasn't a lie. He really did have a schedule in five hours and had to rehearse in two. He's known Kangta for years and knows that it takes him a while to open up when it was something this serious. 

Kangta sighed for the billionth time and finally sat down across Tony. He fiddled with the empty plates he had on the table. 

He sighed again, "I think you know what this is about." 

Tony shrunk in his seat. "...Yeah." 

"So why did you do it?" 

Tony froze. _Why did I do it?_ It wasn't like he had feelings for Jaewon. He saw him practically everyday, but he's never felt anything for him other than friendship. He didn't have any problems with his boyfriend nor was Woohyuk neglecting him when it came to sex. So why?

"Tony?" 

Kangta looked like he was trying so hard not to cry. His eyes were puffy so Tony assumed that he had cried last night as well.

"I'm sorry, Chilhyun," He said, "but I don't know." 

Kangta stood up and slammed his hands on the table, "What do you mean you don't know?!?! You fucked my boyfriend and you don't even know why?!?!" 

Tony flinched, "I don't know!" He whisper-yelled. He hadn't expected Kangta to explode like that. He never has. Even when they've had bad arguments before.

He gasped when Kangta reached across the table and pulled him up by his collar. He struggled to get away from him, starting to feel scared of him. 

"Kang— Chilhyun, stop!" He whimpered.

Kangta went around the table with his hand still holding Tony's collar tightly. He could practically feel the anger radiating from him by how hard his hands were shaking. He then slammed him against the wall hard enough for Tony to see stars and raised his fist. 

Tony turned his face away and squeezed his eyes shut expecting Kangta to punch the same cheek Jaewon had days ago.

However the punch never came. Not on him at least. Instead Kangta punched the wall hard. 

He opened his eyes to see tears streaming down Kangta's cheeks. 

"I want to hit you." He cried, "I want to punish you for hurting me." 

He let go of Tony, making him fall to his knees. Tony hadn't even realized that Kangta had lifted him a couple of inches off of the floor when he slammed him against the wall. 

Kangta stumbled back into a chair and also fell down. He wiped his tears away and hung his head. 

"I can't even hate you." 

Tony watched him with wide eyes. The severity of his drunken actions sunk even further. 

"How can I hate one of my best friends? I can't even hate Jaewon either!" Kangta cried. He didn't bother to wipe his tears away this time. 

Tony crawled over to him and hesitantly placed a hand over Kangta's, hoping to give him some comfort. 

"Just...why?" Kangta asked again in a broken voice. "Why? You know that we're together."

He let out a shaky sigh and thought for a bit. He thought about that night and everything he had felt at that moment. That's when he realized that there _was_ a reason. 

"It was Jaewon's birthday." He said.

Kangta looked up at him with wide eyes. "What?" 

"It was his birthday. Doesn't he always say that he's allowed to do whatever he wanted?" Tony whispered. 

The other didn't respond, he only kept on staring at him with glassy eyes like he was trying to process what Tony just told him.

"That night… I started it." He continued, "I apologized, but then he kissed me. Before I knew it, we were on the bed. I could tell he wanted to do it and I let him because it was his birthday." 

"His birthday." Kangta said. 

"I shouldn't have." Tony said, "I'm so sorry, Chilhyun. It's my fault. I'll take full responsibility. You can hit me if you want."

Kangta shook his head and pulled his hand away. 

"This is ridiculous." 

"..." He was already regretting giving Kangta that answer. Maybe he should've lied and said that it happened because he was drunk. At least that would've been more believable.

"Jaewon said the same thing." 

Tony froze, "What?" 

"When I confronted him, his only answer was that it was his birthday." He let out a strange laugh and ran a hand through his hair and that's when Tony noticed how bad Kangta looked. 

"Kangta…" he said, "When was the last time you slept?" 

"Nevermind that." He replied, "I'll get some sleep tonight." 

Tony leaned against one of the chairs and looked at his friend with a worried expression. He couldn't explain how guilty he was feeling right now. He caused this. He was the reason why Kangta wasn't sleeping. Why he wasn't happy anymore. It was all his fucking faul—

Kangta began to laugh. Hard.

Tony blinked, "What?"

"Can't believe I was worrying for nothing." Kangta said, wiping the corners of his eyes.

"..."

"All this time I thought that Jaewon didn't love me anymore. I thought that there was more to this 'birthday' thing he told me." He said, "And to hear the same thing from you?" 

"..."

"Really makes me feel like a fool." He muttered.

Kangta stood up and went to the kitchen. He brought back a beer can and chugged it.

"I'm not going crazy if that's what you think, Tony." He said when he noticed Tony's face, "I just need one right now. I was so stressed out because of this. I think I grew gray hair." 

"I'm sorry—"

Kangta brought his hand up to stop him, "Save it. I haven't forgiven any of you yet. And I don't think I will. At least not now. I need time. We all need time." 

Tony slumped and let out a sigh. On one hand he was upset that Kangta won't forgive him— how could he anyway?— but on the other he was relieved that he didn't hate him and that their friendship wasn't completely shattered. 

Kangta tossed the now empty can into his trash can, "You're lucky I didn't tell Woohyuk before I texted you."

He gasped in fear and stood up, "Don't you dare!" This time it was Tony who slammed Kangta against the wall. 

"Don't worry. I won't." Kangta smirked. He grabbed Tony's wrists tight enough to make him wince and pulled him close, "The guilt you're feeling right now is only going to get worse. It's going to eat you alive that you're gonna end up telling him yourself." 

Tony froze. They both knew that he was right. His guilt was only a ticking time bomb. It was only a matter of time before it exploded. He knew that he was going to have another breakdown one day while Woohyuk was with him and tell him the truth. He was going to break his heart and make him cry. 

"Shut up!" He yelled when Kangta began to laugh again, "Just shut up!"

Kangta pushed him away, "Why are _you_ crying?! You're not the one who got cheated on!" 

He hadn't even realized that he was crying again. He was feeling so much shit right now that he couldn't even control his emotions.

Tony grabbed his jacket off the chair. He ran to the door and slipped on his shoes. He couldn't stay here. He didn't want to get into a fight.

"That's right, run away." 

Tony wiped his face and took a deep breath until his heart calmed down and didn't look like he had just cried. 

He turned back, "I'm sorry Chilhyun. I'm sorry for hurting you. I know you won't forgive me, but I just want you to know that I am sorry and that I still consider you my close friend. Even after all of this." 

Kangta didn't reply.

Tony's hand rested on the door knob, exchanging a final look to his friend. 

"Go, Tony. I won't tell Woohyuk. I'm not a bad person." He told him softly. 

Tony felt a pang in his heart. He knew that Kangta just indirectly insulted him.

"I know." He said. Because Kangta was telling the truth. Tony is a bad person. 

He rushed out the door and practically ran out of the building. He was feeling even worse than when he came in that he just wanted to lay in bed and sleep for a week. 

Tony slid into the passenger seat of Woohyuk's car and let out a shaky sigh of relief after closing the door.

Woohyuk had driven him here and waited for him in the parking lot like the loyal boyfriend he was. Tony wanted to drive himself here, but Woohyuk didn't let him. He said something along the lines of Tony not being emotionally well to drive or something. Tony couldn't remember. 

"So what did you guys talk about?" Woohyuk asked while pulling out of the driveway. 

_Tell him._

"Nothing important." 

And Woohyuk believed him.


	4. ????

  
Woohyuk POV

Woohyuk rang the doorbell and then knocked three times. Each knock became more hesitant than the last. He stood back for a moment. Waiting. 

He looked down both sides of the hallway. It was empty. He pulled his phone out and flipped it open and texted Tony a quick and simple message:

_I'll be home late. Don't wait up on me. Eat something, okay?_

Woohyuk slipped his phone back in his pocket and sighed. He raised his hand and knocked 3 more times, a little louder and more demanding this time.

He heard a loud groan and some shuffling. The door opened to reveal a tall and sleepy man. His hair was in all different directions and his face was swollen.

Jaewon stared at him for a few seconds like he didn't recognize the person standing right in front of him.

"Woohyuk? What are you doing here? It's early." 

"It's 3 pm, Jaewon." 

Jaewon squinted and let out a confused 'huh?'. He looked behind him and checked the clock, "Oh, damn, you're right." 

Woohyuk stared at him. Although it was obvious that Jaewon just woke up, there was no sign of him being stressed. So he figured from there that maybe the issue was really only between Kangta and Tony. 

"So why are you here? I thought we didn't have a schedule today?"

"Oh, we don't. I just wanted to hang out." 

Jaewon popped his head out and looked both ways, "Where's Tony?" 

"He's at home." Woohyuk said, narrowing his eyes. That question irked him for a reason he couldn't quite yet put a finger to.

Jaewon opened the door wider and gestured for him to come inside, "Why? He usually comes with you."

Woohyuk walked on and sat down on Jaewon's couch, "He didn't want to come." 

"...Why?" 

He shrugged, "I don't know. I think he thought that Kangta would be here. Is he here?"

"No, he's not. Why would Kangta being here bother him?" He locked the door and joined him in the living room.

Woohyuk shrugged again, "I think they had a fight."

He narrowed his eyes again when Jaewon noticeably stiffened. Jaewons hand hovered over the remote control, his fingers twitching. His eyes held something that did not look like 'surprise' or 'shock' to Woohyuk. 

"Did they?" Woohyuk asked. It was honestly why he was even here. Tony told him that nothing had happened, but the way he was acting seemed like something did happen. And if something _did_ happen, then Jaewon should know

Jaewon unfroze and grabbed the remote and turned the TV on, "I don't really know." 

"Oh." _Then again, maybe not._

"Yeah." Jaewon surfed through the channels for a while before finally settling on a show about wildlife. 

Woohyuk stared at tv, cringing when he saw a cheetah eat an antelope.

"Did Kangta tell you anything?" He tried again.

"About what?" Jaewon said.

"About when Tony visited." 

"Tony visited?" 

"Yeah, I even gave him a ride." 

Jaewon stared at the television. There was some sort of strain on his face like he was forcing himself not to notice Woohyuks presence. It was beginning to freak him out a bit. 

"He didn't tell me." 

Woohyuk frowned and didn't say anything else. Something was wrong. _Could it be that Jaewon was involved too? Why does it seem like everyone knows except me? Does Heejun know as well?_

Now that he thought about it, Jaewon _had_ been acting strange for a while now. He was always calm around him and Tony. Like weirdly calm. He mostly stuck to Woohyuk's side and would barely say even a sentence to Tony. 

He watched Jaewon from the corner of his eye. Jaewon flipped open his phone and seemed to be involved in a heated conversation from how hard he was pressing the keys. His expression never changed though.

He then snapped his phone shut and continued staring at the television, occasionally pulling it out again to send another text.

Woohyuk sighed. _How did Heejun deal with our shit. I'm clearly not cut to be a leader if I'm not even aware of my own groups problems._

"Kangtas coming over in a few." Jaewon said, "I'll be in the shower. You can fix yourself something to eat." He stood up, slipping his phone in his pocket and left towards his room, not even sparing Woohyuk a glance. 

It wasn't that long until he heard the sound of the shower running.

Woohyuk stood up and grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. He threw the remote back onto the couch and headed over to the kitchen. 

He opened the fridge and frowned at it's contents. 

"Well this is odd." He said to himself.

There was a bunch of takeout. He opened one of the boxes and peered inside. Teriyaki chicken. He opened another one. More teriyaki chicken. And another. Even more teriyaki chicken. 

This was weird. Jaewon's fridge was never like this. Kangta usually brought him homemade meals, but there seemed to be none of them. This wasn't normal...unless they'd gotten into a fight. 

_But Jaewon said he's coming over._

He grabbed a Coke and closed the fridge. _Still, just because he's coming over doesn't necessarily mean they're in good terms._

Woohyuk cracked open the can of coke and took a large sip and set in down on the countertop.

He left the kitchen and went back to the living room area. He stood in the middle with his hands resting on his waist, thinking for a while. 

_It wouldn't hurt to snoop around._

He opened the closet near the front door and looked over it's contents. A bad feeling formed in his gut. Kangta's slippers weren't there. Everytime Woohyuk has been here, he'd always see Kangta's ridiculously fluffy slippers. They were always there, even when Kangta wasn't here. 

He looked further in the closet, noticing that only Jaewon's coats and sweaters were there. He recognized them pretty well, however, nothing that belonged to Kangta was there. 

"What the hell is going on?" He muttered to himself. 

There was something going on between Kangta and Jaewon, but there also seemed to be something going on with Kangta and Tony. 

Woohyuk looked over in the direction of Jaewon's room. _But there also is something going on with Jaewon and Tony. Right?_

He thought back to just a few moments ago.

Jaewon has never cared if Tony came with him or not to visit, but he seemed so interested today on his whereabouts.

_'"Where's Tony?"' was one of the first things he asked me. He seemed very curious as to why Tony didn't want to come. Now why is that?_

"This is weird. And I doubt Heejun's involved in this." He said to himself, "He would've been the first one to tell me if something was going on." 

The air conditioner turned on, scaring Woohyuk. Sweat ran down his back as he asked himself " _what is going on?"_ again.

He suddenly recalled that Jaewon was texting someone angrily or rather in a demanding way.

_He couldn't have been talking to Kangta. It couldn't have been him. Because why would he tell me that he was coming over right after displaying an action like that?_

He'd been talking about Tony right before Jaewon pulled out his phone.

"He couldn't have been talking to Tony…" he whispered.

He went over to Jaewon's room, hovering outside of his door. He slowly put his hand on the knob and opened the door. The sound of the shower became louder.

He knew that Jaewon had his phone with him 24/7, that's why he didn't even bother to snoop around his room to look for it.

Woohyuk grimaced at how warm it was, but still slowly made his way towards Jaewon's bathroom.

The door was slightly ajar so he popped his head inside. The shower curtain was completely closed and Jaewon didn't seem to notice he was there.

He stepped inside and spotted his phone sitting over a clean pile of clothes. The shower was still running, steam fogged up the mirror. 

Woohyuk shakily grabbed Jaewon's phone and flipped it open. He pressed the keys and opened his messages, feeling anxious when he saw that his most recent message was to Tony. 

His thumb shook as he pressed ok and their messages popped up. He pressed the up key to see the messages from the beginning, frowning when he saw a lot of Tonys messages had been deleted. It looked like Jaewon was having a one-sided conversation with him.

He rapidly pressed the down key and looked for the messages that started today when he arrived at Jaewon's place. 

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:09 pm**

**Tony, what the hell did you say to Kangta**

**_From: Tonyyy_ **

**_3:12 pm_ **

_**?????** _

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:13 pm**

**Woohyuk is here right now and he says he thinks u and kangta got into a fight. Did u?**

**_From: Tonyyy_ **

**_3:15 pm_ **

**_Kangta was the one who asked me to come over. I thought he told you._ **

Woohyuk shook his head. This was getting nowhere. He scrolled through the messages quickly, flinching when he heard Jaewon move the shower curtain a bit. 

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:15 pm**

**Kangta already knows about us. Did he say something to u?**

Woohyuk felt a stab in his heart. He already had a feeling where this was going just by reading those words. Tears started well up in his eyes. His lower lip began to wobble. _Please tell me this doesn't mean what I think it means._

He pressed the down key again.

**_From: Tonyyy_ **

**_3:20 pm_ **

**_Well he almost killed me for it._ **

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:20 pm**

**Sorry about that. I didn't think he'd actually say something to you. I already explained it to him why I did it.**

_**From: Tonyyy** _

_**3:23 pm** _

**_How did he even find out?_ **

He heard Jaewon shut the water off and panicked. His hands were shaking so hard as he struggled to quickly read the next few messages before Jaewon opened that curtain. 

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:24 pm**

**He found out the day it happened. He heard me fucking you.**

_**From: Tonyyy** _

**_3:26 pm_ **

**_im so sorry jaewon I shouldve stopped Im sory I ruined your relationship I'm sorry_ **

**To: Tonyyy**

**3:26 pm**

**You were drunk. I guess the fault lies more in me. I shouldn't have touched you.**

Woohyuk snapped the phone shut and threw it back on the pile of clothes. He quickly walked out of the room and then froze in the hallway. He placed a hand on the wall to steady himself and had the other covering his mouth. 

The words he just read played in his head over and over again like a broken record. 

_I won't cry. I won't cry. I refuse to cry._

It was all suddenly making sense now. The way Tony had been acting. The way Jaewon was so eerily calm during practice. The way Kangta had refused to even say hello to Woohyuk and Tony during their reunion following Jaewon's birthday party. 

"Oh my god." He whispered in a broken voice. 

He fell to his knees, burning his face into his arm and letting out a low sob.

_Why, Tony?_

.

.

Jaewon POV

Jaewon stepped out of his room, drying his hair with a fluffy towel. He spotted Woohyuk sitting on the couch staring straight ahead. The television was off and he could see Woohyuks reflection on it.

"Was there nothing on?" He asked, looking at himself in the mirror hanging just at the end of the hallway. His face looked fresh and no longer swollen now that he took a shower. 

"No." Woohyuk said. His voice sounded shaky. 

Jaewon raised his eyebrows and went over to him, bending down to look at him in the face. He was shocked to see that his eyes were bloodshot like he just cried his eyes out. 

"What's wrong?" He asked, feeling concerned for his friend. 

He wasn't like this before.

Woohyuk suddenly glared at him, "Oh, wouldn't you like to know?" 

He flinched, "What?" 

Then Woohyuk stood up and punched him on the face.

.

.

Woohyuk POV

Jaewon flew back into the television and crashed into the floor. He grabbed his nose and let out a pained, "What the hell, Woohyuk?!"

"How could you?!" 

Jaewon groaned, "How could I what?! You're the one who punched me!"

Woohyuk growled and climbed over Jaewon, grabbing his collar in his fists.

"Don't act stupid! I'm talking about you and Tony!" 

He felt the body under him tense up. A small gasp escaped him.

"How could you?!?!" Woohyuk cried again. 

Jaewon's nose was bleeding and looked a little crooked. 

Woohyuk's expression was terrifying. Tears streamed down his cheeks and his entire body was trembling out of anger or fear. He didn't really know what this feeling was. 

Jaewons hands reached around Woohyuk's wrists, holding them tightly.

"I trusted you!" Woohyuk continued. "Why him?! Why _my_ Tony?!" 

Jaewon didn't say anything. He stared at him with a hurt and guilty expression. 

Woohyuk shook him, " _ **Why**_?!"

"Kangta asked me this before." Jaewon said shakily, "Though I doubt you'll take my answer as 'well' as he did." 

"Huh?!" 

Jaewon swallowed. Only now it seemed like he understood the severity of his actions. 

"Tell me!" Woohyuk cried, shaking him again. 

"I-it was my birthday." 

He was bewildered, "And?!"

"I'm allowed to do whatever I want that day...right? T-Tony kissed me first— and— and I couldn't help myself." 

Woohyuk stared incredulously at him. He couldn't believe what he just heard come out of his mouth. 

"You fucked my boyfriend—who was not only drunk, but _injured_ because of you— because it was your birthday?!" 

"Tony was aware of what I was doing." Jaewon said in a small voice. 

"I don't care if he was aware or not." Woohyuk said, "But he was hurt and he trusted you to fix him up. Not fuck him. You should've stopped. _You_ weren't drunk." 

Jaewon tightened his grip on Woohyuks wrists and pushed him off. He immediately sat up and scooted away from Woohyuk, resting his back on a nearby wall. He brought his hand up to his face and wiped his blood off. "Oh, please. Tony and I were both active participants in this. We've gone through this conversation many times. 'it was my fault. No— it was mine' My relationship with Kangta got ruined and from what I can see, yours is just starting to crumble. What happened happened. We're just trying to forget already, but it always somehow gets brought up!" 

Woohyuk glared at him. "I can't believe you." 

Jaewon didn't respond. His eyes were full of tears that threatened to spill, but it seemed like he was a lot stronger than Woohyuk since they never fell.

"I thought you were my friend." Woohyuk said, "I thought—"

The front door suddenly opened and Kangta walked in, stopping at the sight of the two of them. 

Woohyuk shakily stood up in panic. 

"What the hell is going on?!" Kangta exclaimed. He ran over to Jaewon, worry etched in his face. He kneeled down before him and turned to Woohyuk, "What did you do?!" 

Woohyuk held back another sob and quickly ran out of the apartment. He couldn't be here anymore. He had to go home. He needed to talk to Tony. 

.

.

.

.

.

Tony turned in his bed, curling around the body pillow. He just finished talking on the phone with Heejun. 

He needed to talk to someone about it that wasn't Jaewon. They always went in circles when it came to _that_ and he just needed to vent to someone who didn't know. 

He didn't exactly tell Heejun what happened, but he hinted at it. Heejun only told him to take his time and tell Woohyuk what happened when he was ready or else the guilt will start to eat him alive.

The thing is, that it already was eating at him. Every day that Woohyuk stayed over made him feel worse. Jaewon always told him to just forget about it, but he couldn't when he saw what it did to Kangta. He couldn't imagine what it would do to Woohyuk if he were to find out. 

He wanted to tell Woohyuk. He really did, but he was so scared at the same time. He didn't want to hurt him. 

Tony knew Woohyuk loved him with his entire being and something like this would just shatter him. 

But Heejun said that he had to tell him, otherwise it was going to be worse in the end. 

Tony hugged the body pillow even tighter and tried not to think about what he had to do. He tried to focus on falling asleep instead.

However, just as he was beginning to succumb to sleep, he heard the door to his room open. And then light footsteps.

He opened one eye and stared at the blurry figure of Woohyuk who was placing his keys on the nightstand.

"Are you awake?" Woohyuk asked, sitting on the bed and removing his socks. He saw him reach for his sweatpants that he left on his side of the bed and quickly change into them.

"I was just about to fall asleep." Tony said.

Woohyuk sat down again, his back to Tony. 

This was weird. Usually Woohyuk would be showering him with kisses and hugs, but he was just sitting there. His back was hunched, like he was defeated. 

"Are you okay?" He asked in a small voice. 

Woohyuk then slipped under the covers with him and hugged Tony tightly, burying his face in his shoulder. 

Tony frowned. He was hugging him yet it seemed like Woohyuk was the one seeking comfort. 

"What happened?" He asked, fully awake now. He tried hugging Woohyuk back, but his arms were trapped under his hold.

Then he heard it.

A sob. 

Tony's heart shattered into a million pieces. "Woohyuk, what's wrong?" He asked. 

Woohyuks lack of response only increased Tony's worry. 

"Hyukie?" 

Woohyuk let out a shaky breath and then whispered, "I know."

"....Know what?"

Another shaky breath, "About you and Jaewon."

Tony gasped, "W-what?" 

"I found out today." Woohyuk said, "All I had to do was look at the texts between you and Jaewon." 

Tony struggled out of his hold and sat up, feeling like the world was about to collapse on him.

Woohyuk continued laying down on the bed, but moved his face so Tony could see his expression. 

Sad. Hurt. Betrayal. 

"Woohyuk, I'm sorry." was all Tony could say as he tried not to cry himself. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." 

Woohyuk slowly sat up, "I'm sorry too, you know. For myself. For falling in love with you." 

Tony felt the room closing in, "...what?"

"I love you Tony. I love you so much, but, please…. break up with me." 

His heart pounded loudly in his ears. A lone tear slid down Tony's face. 

Heejun's words popped back in his head. 

_"I don't know what you did and I don't think you're ever really going to tell me, but whatever Woohyuk's reaction is to it, you're going to have to accept it. That's just how it is. You just have to accept the consequences of your actions."_

He took a deep breath. The day he's been dreading finally came. And in the end Kangta was wrong. He didn't end up telling Woohyuk. Woohyuk just had to find out for himself and that itself was a million times worse than finding out from Tony. 

"Okay." He whispered. 

Woohyuk looked at him with that expression. So full of pain and yet Tony could still see the adoration in those eyes. 

"I'm breaking up with you." 


End file.
